GRIEF RECOVERY RESOURCES:
(click on the links below for more info)
Frequently Asked Questions About Grief
If you are visiting this section, it is likely that you recently experienced a loss. We know this is a difficult time for you, and we hope the information you find here will help you get through your experience.
We each grieve in our own individual way. How we handle the loss of a loved one depends on our personal backgrounds, and even on how the person died. But there are some common threads that run through all kinds of grief. Understanding these basic elements will help you understand that you are not alone in how you feel.
Bartocci offers this simple and practical advice: “This might be a good time to carry a small notebook with you. Write down things you need to remember. Don’t rely on your memory. Let your boss know why you’re not functioning at your usual one-hundred percent. Be patient with yourself. Be as understanding of you during this time as you would like others to be.”
- Seek out supportive people. Find a relative, friend, neighbor or spiritual leader who will listen non- judgmentally and provide you with support as you sort your way through grief.
- Join a support group. Being with others who have had a similar loss is therapeutic. Express your feelings. Do this by confiding in a trusted friend or by writing in a journal. Feelings expressed are often feelings diminished.
- Take care of your health. Eat balanced, nutritious meals. Rest properly. Find an exercise you enjoy and do it regularly. If you have physical problems, consult with your physician promptly.
- Find outside help when necessary. If your bereavement feels too heavy for you to bear, find a counselor or therapist trained in grief issues to offer you some guidance.
- To accept the reality of the loss;
- To experience the pain of the grief;
- To adjust to an environment in which the deceased is missing;
- To withdraw emotional energy and reinvest it in another relationship, such as trying to become closer to God Almighty.
Death from Terminal illness
If your loved one suffered from a terminal illness, you probably have been living with death ever since you learned they were sick. Now that they are gone you may find you cannot cry anymore or even experience a sense of relief. This is nothing to feel guilty about. It is normal after a trying experience to be “grieved out” for a while.
During the illness your emotions probably ran the gamut. Everything from denying that your loved one was dying to feeling angry at them for not taking better care of themselves may have crossed you mind.
Other common reactions include bargaining with your personal religious god, offering to be a better person or trade places with your loved one, and blaming the doctors for not being able to cure the disease. You may even feel guilty for not insisting that your loved one see a doctor sooner, for past disagreements, or simply for being healthy when they are dying.
If your loved one kept getting better then suffering relapses, you may have been on an emotional rollercoaster ride, going through painful experiences over and over again. But there is something you can do to help you through this difficult time. Openly communicating your feelings with others can help you relieve at least some of your stress. When you are ready discussing your fear, anger, guilt, depression and other feelings will help.
In time, the grief will diminish. Death may remove the physical presence of a loved one, but they will continue to be a part of your life through the memories and feelings you keep.
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